Torpedo

Note: Yeah, I know I was supposed to do some anime reviewing, but I got lazy and distracted. Do forgive me. Anyways, as a means to update my blog, I'm posting another story which I passed for my college's literary folio. Although my forte is English, the story is written in Filipino, with a sprinkling of Visayan here and there. It's my first story written in Filipino, and although it was quite a challenge to write, I was pretty happy with how it turned out. ^^

And as for the lovely picture below, credit goes to Phantasmicbunny on her "Hot Gimmick" fanart.

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Torpedo

“Tanga-a jud nimo Kaye uy,” sinabi ko sa aking sa sarili. Gusto kong iuntog ang ulo ko sa poste kaso baka isipin ng mga tao na nasisiraan na ako. Baka nga. Hay, naku.

Kulang na lang ay mag-iiyak ako sa kamalasan na nangyari ngayong araw. Biruin mo ba naman, nakalimutan ko ang assignment sa Philosophy, nadapa ako sa school atrium sa harap ng maraming tao dahil late na ako sa Math, tapos ngayon bumagsak pa ako sa long quiz sa calculus.

“Okay ra na, ‘ter,” kunswelo sa akin ni Terry, ang kabarkada kong katabi. “Makabawi pa lagi ka.”

Di ako umimik. Ang mata ko ay nakatutok kay James na ngayon ay natutulog nang mahimbing sa sulok ng klase. Tinutulog-tulugan niya lang ang calculus pero na-perfect niya pa ang quiz. Asa ang justice ana?!

Hindi lang matalino si James, campus crush pa siya. Ang forever dean’s lister. Ang silent and mysterious type. Ang lalaking pinagdududahan namin ni Terry na bakla kasi walang interes sa mga girls maski anong pagpapa-cute na ginagawa sa kanya sa campus. Mga kawawang nilalang.

Napatingin ako sa bintana nang may marinig akong kulog. Sana hindi umulan. Wala pa naman akong payong. Dali-dali kong kinolekta gamit pagkatapos ng klase pero ‘di pa ako nakakalabas ng classroom ay bumuhos na ang ulan. Napabuntong-hininga na lang ako habang inilawit ko ang aking kamay sa labas ng waiting shed. Hinayaan kong mabasa ng malalaking patak ng ulan ang aking palad. Ang lakas ng ulan. Pero parang ‘di pa yata nakontento ang kung sinong nagkukulam sa akin dahil bigla na lang may nakabangga sa akin sa likod. Buti na ‘di ako dumiretso sa putikan.

“Pagbantay pa gud!” naiinis kong nasambit sabay lingon sa likuran. Namatay sa lalamunan ko ang iba pang mura nang makita kong si James pala yun.

Inayos niya ang kanyang glasses at tinitigan ako ng masama. Parang ako pa yata ang mali. Antipatiko rin pala si Mr. Perfect. Wala yatang balak mag sorry.

Tinalikuran ko na lang siya. Sa halos mag-iisang taon naming pagiging classmates sa minors, ni isang salita ay wala kaming nabitawan sa isa’t-isa. Ayaw ko rin siya kausapin, baka kasi matameme lang ako sa kanyang pagka-genius.

“Wala kang payong, ano?” bigla niyang tinanong.

Napakurap na lang ako nang may bigla siyang ipinukol sa aking mga kamay. Itim na folding umbrella.

“Basahin mo,” ang dali-dali niyang sinabi bago siya sumugod sa ulanan.

Binuksan ko ang payong para habulin siya. Bakit niya binigay sa akin ang payong niya at nagkakaripas sa ulanan? At anong babasahin? Di kaya dapat libro ang kanyang ipahiram, hindi payong? Nakaka-ilang hakbang pa lang ako nang may pumigil sa aking boses.

“Pabayaan mo na yun,” wika sa akin ni Adrian, ang isa sa mga kakilala kong kabarkada ni James. “Hindi mo rin mahahabol yun. Umuwi ka na, Kaye.”

Napatingin na lang ako paibaba at sinundan ang isang maliit na papel na inaaanod ng tubig.

Kinabukasan, nag-aalinlangan akong lumapit sa kanya. “Adto na uy,” sambit ni Terry, sabay tulak agad sa akin sa direksyon ng kinauupuan ni James. “Ako gikapoy tan-aw sa imo. Di lagi to mamaak.”

Iniabot ko kay James ang kanyang payong at pinasalamatan siya ng tahimik. Wala man lang ka-reareaksyon. Tiningnan niya lang ako, parang may hinihintay.

“Nabasa mo?” bigla niyang tinanong nung aaksyon na akong babalik sa silya ko.

“Ang alin?”

Sumimangot siyang bigla. “Wala. Kalimutan mo na,” nayayamot niyang sabi bago ako talikuran.

Natatawang tinapik siya ni Adrian sa balikat. “Sabing lakihan mo pare, eh.”

Sa kalagitnaan ng calculus, ‘di ko mapigilang magduda na may nakatingin sa akin. Eksaktong pag tingala ko sa notebook ko, nagbangga ang mga mata namin ni James. Sinimangutan niya akong muli bago siya lumingon sa ibang direksyon. Ang sungit naman ng lalaking ito. Sarap upakan.

Bumuhos na naman nang malakas ang ulan pagkatapos ng klase. At katulad ng kahapon, nakalimutan ko na naman ang payong ko kaya ayun, stranded na naman ako.

“Wala ka pa rin bang payong?”

Hindi ko na kailangang lumingon para malaman na kay James ito nagmula. Hindi ako umimik. Iniabot niya ang kanyang payong sa akin.

Tinitigan ko lang ang payong. Kanina, ang sungit niya sa akin, ngayon, asal anghel naman siya. Menopausal siguro ‘tong taong ito.

“Kunin mo na sabi eh,” wari niya. “Mahirap nang mabasa sa ulan.”

Nag-aalinlangan kong kinuha ang payong.

Ngumiti siya sa akin. Sa ’di maipalwanag na dahilan, bigla akong nag palpitate. “Basahin mo,” bigla niyang inutos bago isinukob ang hood ng jacket niya at sumugod sa ulanan.

Napangiwi ako habang tinitingnan ko siyang umalis. Tinitigan ko ang payong. Niyugyog. Pinaikot. Binuksan ito at ineksamin. Ni isang design o letra wala. Itim lang talaga siya na payong.

Nang nagsisimula na akong magduda na inuuto lang ako, isang maliit na papel ang nakita kong nakasiksik sa wire ng payong. Aabutin ko na sana nang bigla itong tinangay ng malakas na hangin. Nahulog ito sa basang lupa. Dadamputin ko pa sana nang may napadaan at naapakan ang papel. Kung ano man ang laman nun, hindi na siya mabasa dahil natabunan na ng tubig at putik.

Oops. Patay.

“Sorry sa kodigo mo kahapon,” mahina kong sinabi pagbalik ko ng payong kay James kinabukasan.

Napatingin sa akin ng matalim si James. “At bakit naman ako magbibigay ng kodigo sa ‘yo?”

Gusto kong umatras. Nakakatakot ang aura na nanggagaling kay James ngayon lang. “Um, ano, n-nahulog kasi sa putik…” nauutal kong ipinaliwanag. “Pero sa laki nung papel para kasi siyang kodigo…Ano pala yun?”

“Wala yun,” sabi niya sa tono na parang asar. “’Di mo na kailangang malaman.”

Sa tabi niya, napahalakhak si Adrian at tinapik ang kanyang balikat na parang pakunswelo. “Give up ka na ba? Ikaw kasi, napakator--”

Hindi na natapos ni Adrian ang kanyang dinadakdak. Bigla siyang tinapunan sa mukha ni James ng hard bound na History book na naging sanhi ng kanyang sandaling pagkawala ng ulirat.

Tumunog ang bell. Kakatapos lamang ng klase.

“Oi, Kaye.” Bigla akong napalingon at nakitang papalakad sa akin si Adrian. May dinukot siya sa kanyang backpack. “Pinabibigay ni James,” wika niya sabay pakita ng itim na payong. Napansin ko agad ang maliit na card na nakatali sa may handle nito.

Lumingon ako sa mga bintana. “Pero wala namang ulan.”

Nagkibit-balikat si Adrian. “Malay ko ba dun. Nautusan lang ako.” Bigla siyang ngumiti, para bang may nalalamang scandal. “Pero di ba gusto mong malaman kung anong gusto niyang ipabasa sa ‘yo?” Itinuro niya ang maliit na card. “Eto na ang pagkakataon mo.”

Tinaasan ko siya ng kilay pero kinuha ko pa rin ang payong. Pagbasa na pagbasa ko pa lang ng card, biglang sumurot ang dugo ko.

Naabutan ko si James sa may shed, mag-isang nagkakalkal ng bag niya.

“Anong ibig sabihin nito?!” galit kong sinambit pag dating ko sa harapan niya. Kasing kulimlim ng kalangitan ang aking mukha.

Napatingin siya sa akin. “Ikaw pala ang kumuha ng payong ko. Akala ko si Adrian.”

Mas lalo akong nairita. Hinalbot ko ang card sa payong at iwinagayway sa mukha niya. “Bastos ka talaga!” Gusto ko siyang ihulog sa bangin o ipakain sa mga piranha. “Ang kapal mo! Manyaaak!”

Sumimangot siya. “Ano bang problema mo?” May gana pa siyang umarte ng inosente. “Nahihibang ka na ba? At ano ‘to?” Kinuha niya ang card at binasa ito ng malakas.

“Let‘s have sex, baby. I know you want to.
Love, James.”

Nanlaki ang kanyang mga mata. Sa hitsura, mas mapula pa siya sa kamatis.

“ANAK NG TOKWA! ADRIAN, GUNGGONG KA TALAGA!” sinigaw niyang bigla. Sa lakas ng boses niya, nagliparan ang mga ibon sa kalapit na puno. Sinundan niya pa ito ng iba pang mura para sa kanyang kaibigan. Nilamukos niya ang card.

Natigilan ako. “H-hindi ikaw nagsulat nun?” Ngayon ko lang siya narinig magmura .

Hindi niya ako matingnan ng diretso. “Hindi,” halos pabulong niyang sagot. “Hindi ko ‘yan handwriting.” Napansin kong biglang namamalat ang boses niya. Isinuot niya ang kanyang cap para maitago ang kanyang mga mata. “Isa pa…bakit ba ako magsusulat ng ganun ni hindi ko nga masabi harap-harapan na gusto kita?”

Hindi ako makapaniwala. Halos umabot sa lupa ang baba ko sa gulat.

Napabuntong-hininga siya at binigyan ako ng pilit na ngiti. “Kalimutan mo na ‘to. Sorry talaga sa istorbo.” Inayos niya ang kanyang backpack. “Sige, Kaye.”

Nagsimula nang umambon. Binuksan ko ang payong at hinabol si James. Isinilong ko siya. Hindi maitago ang gulat sa kanyang mukha. Mas gwapo pa pala siya pag namumula.

Hindi ko mapigilang ngumiti. “Ang taas ng IQ mo pero ang baba naman ng EQ.”

Tuluyan nang bumuhos ang ulan pero hindi ko na ito inalintana.

“Mahirap nang mabasa sa ulan,” sinabihan ko siya.

Isang matamis na ngiti ang dahan-dahang dumapo sa kanyang labi.

Anime Insanity: The Preview

Okay, since I have got nothing much to do these past couple of days, I have spent most of my time downloading and watching anime. You see, during the olden years of college, especially in my third and fourth year in nursing, I have become so busy with extra-curriculars and academics that there was hardly any room for anything else. The school paper alone was a handful, and to top that, I am usually the person in charge when it came to group projects and paperworks, academic-wise(blame it on my obsessive-compulsive personality).

So, anyway, now that I've got loads of time on my hands (and since my dad doesn't seem to have any plans of funding my driving school classes because of his apparent prejudice against women drivers...don't ask), I've preoccupied myself with anime watching. It's been so long since I've watched anime that I enjoyed. Good times, really.

And since I've noticed I hardly update my blog, I decided that I'd just post my reviews on the anime series that I've watched recently. Some of the anime may have been released years ago (those that I have failed to watch during elementary and high school), or the latest ones fresh from Japan. Regardless when they were made, I'll just offer my -er- views about them.

Are you ready? I know I am. Weee~!

What Now?

It’s been almost a month since I graduated. As far back as elementary, I have always looked forward to finishing college. Back then, it meant freedom from assignments, from terror teachers and from hours of boring lectures. When high school rolled in, the goal of finishing tertiary education seemed within reach. Just a few more years, I told myself and I’d be rid of extra-curricular activities, interschool competitions, and the stress of academics. Finally, when college came, I could almost grasp the diploma just beyond the horizon. It had been a long and grueling academic experience. Almost two decades, as I had shifted courses and began from scratch in college.

Back to the present. I’ve finished a baccalaureate degree. I have my diploma. However, I seemed to have expected too much from graduation. After doing overtime in college, I had thought I would be one of the few people in the graduation ceremony to be actually teary eyed and bask in all the graduation-related bliss. Unfortunately, the graduation day fantasy I had been replaying in my head since time immemorial never really materialized…or maybe my expectations were a little too fantastic to be real. I found myself thinking how my graduation was rather anticlimactic. I was excited, but it was not the same excitement I had pictured myself all those previous times before. I didn’t cry. I wasn’t deliriously happy. I didn’t even throw my graduation cap come the end of the commencement program. I felt…wala lang. It was as if it were just another normal event, and not some life changing, memorable, ecstasy-filled occasion I would remember as long as I lived. I’m a bit disappointed, to be honest.

I don’t really know why I was felt rather detached from my graduation when it is one of the few events I have been waiting for. Maybe partly because deep down I could still not reconcile the fact that I could never be a UP grad. Or maybe because I have little love for the college I had to call my Alma Mater. Or maybe it was due to me not being able to take post-graduation pictures with my friends as we had lost each other in the large crowd.

Whatever the reason for my less than sterling view of my graduation day, still, I am happy and content that at least I graduated. I would now be less of a burden to my parents since they don’t have to worry about paying exorbitant tuitions. I would now be able to find work so I can take care of my family. I would now be able to make a difference, however small, in the world.

But in perspective, all those goals still feel like years away from obtaining. I still have exams to pass, experience to attain and a lot more expenses to shell out. The future seems a lot more intimidating because it’s not as predictable as when I was still studying. While schooling, you get used to the usual paces. You wake up, attend classes, go home, study, make projects, sleep. It’s all very predictable and safe. You know what will happen next because you are still in the safe cocoon of education. But after graduation, there is a sense of insecurity. The future isn’t as constant as it was before. You don’t know what’s going to happen next. Will you find a job? Where will you apply for work? Will you like your work? Will you be satisfied with your employment? These are some of the stuff you can’t help but ponder after you’ve gotten your diploma.

I am now one of the thousands of unemployed in the Philippines. I have a degree and yet I am still dependent. But I, like all the other fresh graduates out there, have the potential to earn a lot and make a difference in the world. It’s a paradoxical stage. It really is up to the person if he or she is determined enough to succeed. And I will succeed, darn it!

Right now, I’m reviewing for the nursing board exams. I’m apprehensive and excited at the same time, but mostly it’s the anxiety that’s gnawing me.

But I’m optimistic.

Windswept

This is a short story I passed for our school paper's literary folio. Since I felt like updating my blog, but am too tired from review to actually write anything, I'll post one of my stories instead. Unlike my story in fanfiction.net, this doesn't involve anime at all. ^_^

The gorgeous picture below is from peachysticks on Deviant Art.

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Windswept

Eric closed his eyes and savored the cool, salty breeze and the fine sand between his toes. He liked this place. It brought back fond childhood memories.

“You‘re early.”

Eric opened his eyes. She was here.

“You‘re late,” he replied with a smirk.

The girl giggled. Her laughter reminded Eric of bells, light and tinkling. Careful not to wrinkle her summer dress too much, she sat beside him. “You‘re beginning to look older than me,” she commented.

Eric snorted in amusement and looked at her from the corner of his eyes. “And you haven‘t aged a day since we last met,” he responded. He reached for a lock of her wavy, raven hair and twirled it around his finger. “You looked as if you never even had chemo.”

The girl gave him a bright, cheeky grin. “So, have you snagged any girls lately?”

Eric gave her a pointed look. “You know you‘ll always be my number one.”

The girl gave him a soft, fond smile. “I know.”

Sighing, Eric laid back on the white sand. He idly watched the fluffy, white clouds drift above them. “I think they‘re starting to suspect.”

The girl pulled her knees to her chest and rested her chin between her knees. “Really now?” An amused smile flitted on her lips. She stared at the waves lapping nearby.

Eric lazily closed his eyes. The sunlight was starting to hurt his eyes. “Yeah,” he mumbled. “They must have finally noticed that I always come here.”

The girl brushed a few unruly bangs from his face. “You look troubled.”

Eric locked eyes with her. “Mom and dad are starting to think I‘m crazy.”

“Maybe you are.” The girl laughed.

He sat up. “I just graduated Magna cum Laude at the most prestigious state university in the country,” he stated. “It‘s rather unbelievable if I just lost my mind. And besides, we‘ve been seeing each other for two years already. Don‘t tell me I was crazy for that long.”

“I guess not,” the girl agreed, looking thoughtful. “But I don‘t think they would understand.”

A bittersweet smile appeared on his lips. That was true.

“They‘d probably tell me to stop going here,” he told her sullenly. “I might never see you again.”

The girl looked at him with sad eyes. “Don‘t say that.”

There was a pregnant pause. The ocean breeze, once pleasant, suddenly felt cold and biting.

“I missed you so much. Every single day,” Eric choked out, swallowing a painful lump in his throat. “I don‘t want to lose you all over again.”

The girl gently shushed him. “Little Eric‘s still a crybaby at heart, I see.” She engulfed him into a tight hug. “Don’t worry. As long as you need me, I‘ll be here. I promise.”

Eric felt better. She never broke her word.

When he got home, Eric found his father waiting for him at the living room.

“Where have you been?” he demanded quietly.

Eric made a beeline for the stairs. He knew where this conversation was headed. They‘d had it a couple of times before. “You know where I‘ve been. It’s the same place I go to every month.”

“Your mother and I have heard stories that you‘ve been talking to yourself there. Have you stopped taking your meds again?”

Eric froze mid step. He looked over his shoulder. “It‘s not like you could stop me from seeing her anyway,” he retorted coldly. A few seconds later, his father heard his room slam shut.

Mr. Lopez wearily sat down on the armchair. On the coffee table was a picture of a girl and an even smaller boy building a sandcastle. Both Eric and Carol loved the beach.

Just as he was about to reach out for the frame, it toppled off the table. Picking it up, Mr. Lopez saw a crack over Carol‘s side of the picture. He stared at his daughter’s face. He had always compared her to the summer breeze, carefree and gay. Everyone loved her. Eric, in particular, adored his big sister.

But like the passing wind, she was gone too young, too soon. And Eric’s never been the same ever since.

Outside, the wind picked up. It seemed to hum as it made the dry leaves dance in its wake.

Ingrate

I am known for being cautious. I am wary, I hold my tongue (even if I am simply itching to retort something) and as much as possible avoid people, places and events that may bring me trouble. I play safe to remain safe. I do what is necessary to stay on the good side of people. Because in the long run, if I ever commit something purely humiliating or undignified, or need help on something, I won't have to endure the scrutiny or harsh comments of people. It's rather spineless, now that I think about it, but I don't want my life to be even more complicated than it is already.

I have become even more cautious when I joined the school paper. In DDC, school publication staff seem to have a notoriety that rivals mass murderers or plunderers. Unlike in UP where you can virtually lambast institutions or people as you see fit without severe repercussions, DDC is the complete opposite. You may be part of the media but you feel voiceless. What you write is censored in the sense that you are afraid to say something against the school. Those in State U's who enjoy academic freedom may find it hard to understand why this is so, but when you are in a private college, you are reduced to a powerless student. Powerless in the sense that you can't openly voice out your sentiments or talk back to school officials especially when they are in the wrong. It's a frustrating environment to be in, especially for somebody who has enjoyed so much freedom from UP.

So how censored is Clarion? Really? It's not like we can't write things against the school. We can. But doing so spells a miserable stay. You can get expelled. You can be ostracized. You can be bullied by CIs because when it comes to matters involving DDC's Nursing Department, students and sections are endorsed. If you happen to be on the wanted list, the entire department will know. It's already tough being your average nursing student, how much more so when the CI handling you has a grudge for some damning article you wrote against them. See the picture? Unless you are tough enough to endure such repercussions, it is best to just shut up. That is why in Clarion, news and columns are always pro-DDC. It's disappointing. It's utterly frustrating. But you have to accept it. It's the only way you can get through the harrowing four years in DDC unscathed.

By my standards, I have been a very nice EIC as far as school-based articles go. Never did I slam any department or staff. I have kept my mouth shut instead of complaining about the demeaning treatment students receive from some staff and faculty, about the "palakasan" that pervades in every nook and cranny of the school, about the "Special Section" the Nursing department has set (which, in my opinion, promotes discrimination among students) and of the less than sterling way the school and the Nursing department handles complaints, enrollment, the ring hop and the graduation (utterly disorganized, but hey, I never wrote anything about it). I didn't even write anything about the grade fixing some students had (simply because he was the son of the Academic Director, he passed his NCM when according to CIs, he failed) and the special treatment a few students receive simply because they are known by the staff or faculty, or simply because they know how to smooth-talk their way to getting what they want. There are a lot of things I want to write about but I did not. I'm sad because I didn't have it in me to have the gall EICs were supposed to possess. I have kept quiet. I have sacrificed journalistic objectivity in exchange for passivity to keep myself trouble-free. I was supposed to be the voice of the students, but I have kept silent. But then again, I want to graduate. I do not want, nor need, the additional hassle of the administration or some other school department breathing down my neck.

I write my columns very carefully. I do not want to make public apologies, like my predecessor was forced to do after she inadvertently incurred the wrath of the Nursing dean. Her article was harmless, if you ask me, but somehow, many of the CIs and the dean herself took offense. Roh found herself apologizing for the article she made, since the dean threatened that she would not be able to graduate and that all her awards be stripped.

So who could blame the current staff, me included, for being so sedate over school-related matters?

The Clarion magazine was released late due to internal issues, but I am glad now that it was distributed after graduation. You see, when I came to the Dean's office today to have my PRC application signed one last time, I got the tongue lashing I wasn't even expecting. If the magazine had been released on time, I doubt I would get very far in my PRC papers.

After clarifying that I was indeed the Clarion EIC, she asked me if I had already gotten a feedback from her about the mag. I said no. She then said she was "disappointed" and I was "ungrateful" to the Nursing department. She said that in my column, I took the time to thank the AHSE Department (whom I was a student for two years) but I never thanked the Nursing department. She kept repeating how ungrateful I was and that if she knew I would write something like that, then she shouldn't have allowed me to shift to Nursing. She said I should be thankful because without them, I wouldn't be one step closer to becoming a nurse. She added that I should be careful of the people I acknowledge. I should mention here that I thanked some CIs, but never the department itself.

I just kept quiet because I needed her signature. I never said I was sorry though. I skewed my face so it would seem like I looked pathetic and apologetic. After her 'lecture,' I mumbled my thanks and left.

Really, inasmuch as I wanted to play safe, there just has to be a tiny detail somewhere to do me in. I guess I can't please everybody. But regardless, did she really need to scold me for that? Did she really expect me to prostrate myself like Charm did on her column? Am I obliged to thank the department?

Her reaction to my article was the very reason why I never thanked the Nursing department in the first place. I disliked what she did to Roh (my EIC predecessor). I disliked how she was the only person during the tuition increase forum to strongly oppose an increase in the school paper budget (God knows how much Clarion needed the additional money). I disliked her for belittling our batch (suicidal batch ba...). And I dislike a lot of her CIs because they were either too arrogant, too strict, or did not bother to be helpful when students were virtually chasing after them for signatures on pink books and exhibit forms.

But there are a few CIs whom I respect and regard highly, but that is that. Don't get me wrong though. I am grateful to the department because the things I learned are my stepping stone to a career in nursing. However, I was not obliged to thank them in print. She should not be angry with me because it is my right as a journalist to thank those whom I feel I should thank. It was against my beliefs to thank a department that I am not very fond of in general.

She calls me ungrateful. Maybe I am, in a way. But with the way she acted and responded to such a minor detail, then I do not regret not thanking her department at all.

An Insult to Intelligence

I don't watch local shows, minus the occasional evening news and anime shown on local stations. But other than that, I skip local channels. Frankly, the shows are often repetitive, shallow, cheaply-made, and have drama/soap opera plots recycled too many times (or just plain stupid).

The cable we have hardly has any channels worth watching. There are less than ten channels that I actually enjoy, as the rest are pure crap. If there is hardly anything worth watching in cable, I can only imagine how horribly painful it is to sit in front of the television with an even limited number of channels. Ugh.

Local telenovelas, in all honesty, are utterly stupid. It's an insult to intelligence really. I wonder how most Filipinos could stomach the unbelievable and absurd plot lines, the cheaply made costumes, and annoying characters who must probably suffer from dehydration with all the crying they do on a daily basis.

When Ging was around to take care of Inay temporarily (my grandmum has Alzheimer's), I was exposed to one week of local telenovela. She hogged the television during her stay. Me and my family just watched along, and she probably thought we watched and enjoyed the same brand of entertainment she did. During that time, I spent half the evening rolling my eyes and drinking so much water to drown the sarcasm yearning to escape my lips. I wanted to yell how stupid the shows were. That the plots were so mundane and pathetic I wouldn't be surprised if the viewers' brain neurons fizzled after long exposures to these shows.

But the show that truly annoyed me was ABS-CBN's rehashed TV version of "Princess Sarah." The child actresses who played Sarah and Becky (I think that was the other girl's name...or was it Betty?) were no where near as cute or endearing as Camille and Angelica were in the movie version. That obviously fake curled up mustached of one of the actors annoyed me to no end. And his pathetic excuse for an Italian accent only made me want to hurl knives at him. The set was clearly not set in the 1800s even if they had carriages. Come on, 19th century houses were not designed like that, nor had that kind of furniture. And the costumes were horrid. Who in their right mind would actually wear a bright, shiny orange dress in the Victorian era? Eww. The costumes seemed mismatched. My guess is they were probably assembled together simply because they looked like the clothes of yesteryear, be damned that they don't actually belong to the same period. As long as they look like what people would wear a century or two ago, then it's good enough. Pft. As if that was what people from that time actually wear.

Come on. ABS-CBN earns billions of pesos every year and yet the props and sets on "Sarah" seemed so cheaply budgeted. Just slap on some peasant looking dresses, market place that a three year old could tell is fake, and some little children to endear the audience and you're all set. What happened to quality? Heck, they didn't even research the time period when "Sarah" was set. Ah, but I guess when you're concerned with profits, everything else can be thrown out the window. Quality be damned. Filipinos could not even tell how everything in the show is grossly inaccurate. As long as there are cute children, humor, a bit of teen romance on the side, and a saintly protagonist who gets bullied and pushed around by mean people for no apparent reason, Filipinos will watch. Big companies like ABS-CBN know this and use it to their advantage.

This is why Filipinos get dumber. They are exposed to shows that do not even spend time getting facts right. It is an insult to Filipino intelligence, but the sad thing is that I think most Filipinos don't really mind at all.

The Woes of an EIC

I usually try to keep my temper in check. And I usually do not explode just because I am extremely pissed at someone. They first have to push me...twice, thrice, or even more...before I finally cannot stand it and am forced to confront them straight in the face that I detest their behavior.

Right now, I have a few people whom I would dearly love to get my hands on. If possible, I would want to give them a piece of my mind while they are buried neck-down in hot sand. I shall delightfully watch and listen to their agonized screams while sipping iced-tea and watch with satisfaction as fire ants feast on their pathetic faces. Okay, maybe that's mean. But then again, since I can't really do that in real life, seeing them suffer slow, painful deaths will be left in the anals of my imagination.

My Managing Editor, Vic, is frankly (excuse my course language) a pain in the ass. He knows how important he is in the functioning of the school paper, but he is being a liability more than an asset. He wasn't as bad in the first semester. I sometimes wonder if he does this on purpose just to annoy the heck out of me and some of the senior eds, or this is just how he really is: a bona fide slacker who cares about nothing else but his boyfriend. And yes, that's boyfriend. I didn't spell it wrong.

Really, he knows how important his job is and yet he acts irresponsibly. The least he could do is be professional about it. He joined the paper out of his own free will. wasn't coerced into joining the school paper. And most certainly he isn't the only one wishing to quit just to get rid of all the pressure, scrutiny and busy schedule associated with being part of the school paper. I would love nothing more than to quit, but my sense of responsibility and accountability prevents me from giving up my post.

But apparently that does not exist in Vic's case.

And if that is his normal behavior (to find excuses to avoid his duties, simply disappear when needed and avoid replying to important text messages on purpose) then he should not have entered the school paper to begin with. He should have just quit early on to save us all the trouble instead of setting a ruckus in the middle of the school year by threatening to quit (which is devastating news when there is no other person qualified to replace him just like that).

If I could replace him, I would. Really. Fact of the matter is, no one else is trained for his position. He was the only one trained by the previous Managing Editor in all the functions of that said position. All of us expected him to perform all the tasks delegated to and expected of him. He was capable. And he seemed responsible enough. How sorely wrong we were.

It's frustrating to work with him. So frustrating at times that I want to just tear my hair out of exasperation and cry. But since these actions aren't productive or going to help me anyway, I try to be more rational during these times. I just pop chocolates and think of happy thoughts (like skewering him with a large fork).

There are times when I envy Roh having Jinx as her Managing Editor. You can count on Jinx. She probably had superhuman abilities to have been able to accomplish all the workload Roh piled on her. I don't even assign Vic the same amount of work and yet his performance is dismally slow or unsatisfactory. These days, I need to prod him a couple of times or get extremely pissed off before he does his duties. So stressful.

And what's even worse is he gives off all these excuses or leaves his work unfinished simply to meet up with his boyfriend. I mean, honestly, can't their rendezvous wait until his responsibilities in the school paper are through? That is so damn unprofessional and unfair on the rest of the staff, as he is relied upon to work on action plans so we can have the MONEY for our activities. I'm not even asking him much. I simply want him to be more responsible.

Just this Monday, I stayed up until 1 in the morning waiting for his call because we were supposed to plan for the Christmas party and Christmas outreach. I told him that regardless of what time he came home, he should call me because this was important, as we had limited time to prepare for these. He said he would call at 11 PM, since he'd be home by then (how strange though that he comes home that late as it is a school night and he has classes at 8 AM the next day). But 11 came and gone but he never called. He never even notified me that he'd never call. Never even apologized. Nothing. I could have spent all those hours getting much needed sleep. That was so inconsiderate of him.

And just yesterday, I told him we'd meet at the publication office to discuss on the activities. He came, but he told me he was very sleepy and he had not gone home (geez, I wonder what nocturnal activity he did...). We discussed for an hour, but there were still some areas left to clarify or finalize. He did an action plan. After which, I decided to update our bulletin board. He asked if he could go home since he was sleepy. I told him that it was not my problem since it was his undoing (come on, that's no excuse...and besides, he should accept the consequences of having sex all night), and instructed him to finish all his assignments (which included the long overdue inventory, the project proposal for the Christmas outreach, action plans, venue for the Christmas party...all of which he could have done so a long time ago.)

When I came back, my friend, who had been loitering in the office, told me he had left. Without telling me. On purpose.

Now that got me steamed. Not so much because he had completely bailed on his assignments, but he did not even have the decency to tell me he was leaving. Would it hurt just to inform his superior that he was leaving? I wouldn't really stop him from doing so anyway. I found his behavior infuriating and completely rude.

And right now, he won't even respond to simple text messages asking whether he has actually booked the venue for our Christmas party or not. I am only waiting for a yes or no answer so we can arrange or finalize the venue as we are short on time as it is...But I bet if I were Deo (his BF), he'd reply in a hear beat.

Gugmang giatay. Peste talaga.